Enough Already

It's decided. We decided. I want to blame my life's happenings as making me question if we can adopt... But it's me, it's us. These life happenings happened, and this is how I'm doing, and I can't undo it. I cannot have more than two kids right now. I can't think about it this month.Life hurts.So what do I do now?What does one do when losing dreams, re-evaluating dreams, re-defining dreams?1. go back to wanting that dog I wanted in January? (no....)2. think about pursuing an MFA again? Mills College, SFAI, CCA, Stanford, Berkeley (not in any order)3. get through Christmas first?4. try another art show entry?5. be content as is?6. enjoy the last 25 minutes before N gets home from school? (I write this as I hear Z waking from his 45 minute nap... I hope he's just kidding about waking up)7. finish the portrait I was commissioned to do?8. rake the leaves outside? (the leaves keep falling)9. breathe & look out the window?10. stop typing. OK.