Maritza Ruiz-Kim

Artist, San Francisco Bay Area

I Had a Dream and I Still Have a Dream

Last night, I dreamt about receiving some kind of telecast… perhaps it was sent directly into my brain. The dream was an elaborate production made by the jurors of the show that I applied for, and it went something like this:

There was a live action choreographed portion in which the two juror artists plus an additional artist that I know, they were moving toward the screen carrying a TV that they held between them. On that TV was an animated short (it was very well done) in which the three artists did voiceovers for these animated puppet animal characters. The main cartoon character was a penguin puppet. And in this manner, the animated puppet animals spoke to Me. They told me that I did not make it into the show.

And I woke up with this kind of sadness.  Then in my morning fog, I realized that this couldn’t possibly have happened in real life, no one would go through so much trouble to inform me that I was not in a show, not in this live action animated puppeteer kind of way.

And then I got home this afternoon and found out that in a way, my dream came true.

I am not in the show.

What will I do?

Will I throw my hands up in the air and say forget it? Will I in this way decide that my art was only made for the purpose of being recognized by one show, and will I then quit because one thing didn’t turn out the way I wanted? Or will this be the opportunity for me to rise above and do something extraordinary for me- that is, will I take this opportunity to find what I am meant to do, will I figure out how to be creative and do my kind of work for the sake of saying what I think is important to say- through art?

Will I be innovative, will I find a way to work through art to have an impact on my community, can I find a way to do something bigger than apply to one show, in one city, for one small frame of time?

Will I value the input of the people I love more than people I don’t really know? Will I be fueled by the lives around me to create something important, and will I decide that what’s important is not defined by a group of people with their own show agenda, but by the quality of the work I produce, and the conversation that is generated?

I don’t know yet how this will turn out.  I am thinking something better is coming, but I can’t say for sure. But I am hoping.

4 Replies to “I Had a Dream and I Still Have a Dream”

  • That’s amazing about the prophetic dream.

    For me, nothing is so motivating as getting a B-, or even failing or not getting accepted. It makes me want to rise above it, do something even better, and prove them wrong.

    Maybe this will be a similar springboard for you? I agree with Cathy, keep on trucking!

  • thanks!!! it great to have friends who keep believing…
    I am hoping I springboard too! we’ll see!

  • Your energy, drive and clarity is empowering. I can’t wait to see where it takes you next!!

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