Artist & Writer, San Francisco Bay Area

A Too Soon Girlfriend

Enn says : Mama, do you know why I love girls?
Mama says: why honey?
Enn says: because girls are beautiful…

Yes, it’s true, it’s actually what he said.

He had a girlfriend at preschool. Now she is Just A Friend. I believe it was a competition that all started when the ymca childcare people started saying that Enn’s best friend Jos had a girlfriend there. (Evil grownups, stop corrupting our children! They will grow up fast enough!) Anyway, I believe once Enn started at his preschool, he felt compelled to claim two girlfriends to Jos’s one. Then after a few weeks there, he settled on just the one. Called her My Girlfriend. But he didn’t always remember her by name.

(We’ve run into her & her mom while we’re out & about, and Enn will lean into me and ask “Mama, what’s my girlfriend’s name again?”)

So, she came up to him at preschool on Thursday and told Enn “I sent you an e-mail.” (I was present, standing right there because it’s a co-op, and I was a co-op mom that day.) I never discussed it further with Enn, and he didn’t mention it either. But yesterday, out of the blue, he said “She sent me an e-mail, right? I want her to come to my house & play.” I told him we could send her an e-mail and invite her.

This is what Enn dictated to me, and I sent it to her mom:

I miss you and you can come to my house. You are at preschool, and you are my friend. When you come to my house we can play cars. Then after we play cars, we can pick flowers for your mommy and my mommy and let’s rake leaves.

(The last idea about raking came after looking out the window for a while trying to figure out how to conclude his message.)

She wrote back via her mommy:

i can bring some of my games too.

We have clarified to Enn that girlfriends & boyfriends are something for grownups, and that sure, she is his friend, but she’s not his Girlfriend. She is a Friend, and she is a Girl. Just like he has friends that are boys. He has friends.

Well, clearly talking him through new vocabulary has not changed his fondness for her. One thing that his dad and I know, though, is this: it’s an opportunity to make sure that Enn learns that being friends with girls is mainly about being friends… it doesn’t have to be silly and warm fuzzy, it’s just about: Friendship. Let’s keep it simple.

Still, it’s sweet. I’m happy that Enn has a romantic streak in him.

It’s lovely.

One Reply to “A Too Soon Girlfriend”

  • So sweet and he is romantic, but I must say this makes me glad we are homeschooling, Im just not ready for that stuff yet. I love the part about picking flowers.

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