February 2, 2006
I love Enn.
I wrote this after a very very hard day as a mom, but I’m writing about the good things coz that’s what I wanna think about!
So amazing how at just two and a half, Enn can be so clear about what he wants and who he wants to be. He’s incredibly independent, he explores, he demands. There is so much that he wants to do All By Himself.
It’s only upon becoming a parent and getting to these points in life where your child pushes and pushes and pushes, that you realize just how many “choices” there are to make, how to raise your kid, and you just have to have this faith and love and do your best and really believe that it’ll make a difference.
I love my son, deeply. I wish I could keep track of all the sweet things he does. I wish his fits and tantrums didn’t stand out so loudly as they mark my day. But one cute thing I can remember- when he was on his way to bed, he came to say goodnite to me, hugging, kissing, eyes smiling. And then, he went to my mom (“Pateta”) and he would give her the same love, with lots of sparkling eyes and warmth. Then all on his own, he went to Sunny our Kitty, and he said “nite nite Kitty” and gave her a hug. He really sees her as part of the family.
Another cute thing- We played with his talking teddy bear earlier in the day, and he decided Teddy needed to go nite-nite. He put Teddy in bed, gave him a “may-may” (pacifier), tucked him under a blanket, sang him twinkle-twinkle little star, ran to get him 2 choo-choo trains so Teddy could take his nap with the trains (just as he himself does) and, mind you, he picked out his *favorite* trains to give to Teddy. Then he walked out to shut the door, saying, “shh, shh, lie down! nite nite!” just like I do. I did help him remember a thing or two of the bedtime rituals. But he filled it in with the beauty and his gentleness and creativity. That’s my son.
I choose to write about these aspects of my day, rather than the ones that had me worn out, and even crying, all related to parenting….
Growing up is hard to do!